There are so many online tips on how to know if you’ve found the One; use your gut feeling, see how comfortable you feel together, make sure you have the same values in life, the partner allows you to be yourself, they are kind, humorous, protective, generous, and so on and on.
They are all useful tips, and I’m sure they are necessary traits.
Personally, I think I wondered on this topic ever since I fell in love the first time. But a long way from then, I can finally put something together for myself. I would like to sum this up in the ‘three S’.
If you are with someone who is ‘Sensitive’, ‘Supportive’ and ‘Sexy’, you may be able to have a great relationship together. And you should be the same to the partner too, of course. It’s a two way thing.
I use the word ‘sensitive’ in the most positive way, in a gender neutral sense. We are human beings who must learn to live with others. That requires so many skills and knowledge, which can only be learned by being ‘sensitive’ to human nature. You learn when you know it is important to require such skills in the first place. It’s a training throughout life, one that you only get better through practice and awareness. So if your partner is aware, already learning because he or she knows how important it is, and having a relationship requires even more sensitivity, then you can identify various human traits and make things work.
Second, you are in a relationship. Which means, you must make sure it is beneficial to both of you in some ways. And just like friendships or family ties, an intimate relationship must be of ‘supportive’ nature. It cannot be selfish, harmful, or lack challenge. It is a partnership, which means you are one of a team that helps each member to advance in life. There’s no use for a relationship that doesn’t make you a better person since you began it. And vice versa.
Last but not least, you are in a romantic intimate relationship. That began because you felt attraction in the first place. I know the word ‘sexy’ can be interpreted in so many ways and have different meaning for each and everyone. So you can define what is sexy to you. It can be more than just looks, shapes, sizes, of course. It can be their characteristics, or attitudes, or thought processes, expressions, and so on. But you got to know what is sexy to YOU. And be aware that the meaning of sexy changes throughout life as well. What you thought was sexy when you were in your teens may not be true when you are in your forties. Roll with it, but keep the sexiness alive, then the attraction will persist and the relationship will be maintained.
Good luck to us all! 💚
Photo entitled “Facing Piranhas together”
– me and my love on our anniversary date.